Tips for caregivers (suggestions from friends are denoted with quotes):
Take care of yourself. Everybody will tell you this and you will know it makes sense and you will still find it difficult. But seriously: make it a high priority however you can. Take walks outside in the fresh air. Ride your bike. Play with dogs and kids. Listen to music. Meditate. Find ways to laugh – comedy dvds from the library, joking around with friends, whatever it takes. Take a weekend off – or an hour. You are going to feel slammed for time and money, but this is exactly the hard times you’ve been saving up for, so free a little bit up to spend on massage, acupuncture, therapy, ice cream, a movie. Eat nourishing food. Get sleep. There will ALWAYS be more hard work you could be doing, so just give yourself permission to shove it aside for a short time every day and do something sweet for yourself.
Do things you love. Make a list of a few things you love. I wrote one that included singing, hiking, making pottery, walking my dog, going thrift-shopping, reading. I tried to figure out what I could do in short bursts of time, and what might be cheap or free, and then I made sure I had at least a couple favorite things regularly scheduled into my life, even if it was only once a week or only a few minutes a day.
Ask people for music: a mix cd, a playlist, some downloads, an album. Making a mix is an easy, nonintrusive, user-friendly way for someone to support you.
Go outside every day. Even if just for a few minutes. Standing out under the sky is a great way to step outside of yourself and make big obstacles seem smaller.
“Let someone help with helping: You will undoubtedly find lots of people wanting to help. Coordinating all the help and figuring out what people could be doing can take a lot of energy by itself you may not have. Ask one or two friends to coordinate all the help. Having someone serve as a communicator to let people know what is going on so you don’t have to repeat yourself over and over can help as well. (These days the web can help with both these tasks as well.)”
“Friends who have been through it are invaluable: There are some things you just have to experience to understand. Everyone’s experiences are different, but having a friend who has walked a similar path can be a real support with their understanding.”