As a postscript to our most recent hurried conversation, Val added this tidbit from TerriSue: Apparently the Apomab people – that’s her trial drug – have decided to ditch the placebo part of the trial and give everybody the guaranteed real deal drug from here on out!
pop quiz
Pop quiz! One question! Ready? 1. Define neutrophil A) A type of water rat native to the Pacific Northwest B) Extract of quinoa; commonly used as an ingredient in protein bars C) An impediment to a predictable schedule D) A type of white blood cell Did you guess answers C) Continue Reading
Curiosity saves lives: an invitation
It has been a very peculiar week. A week that changes things. There are moments when i am feeling that old work ethic tug to sit down and really sort through it all. Try to understand the implications of each event in succession. But the truth is, i just don’t Continue Reading
scheduling around platelets
We were up at 5:30 today, out of the house by 6:30 to start the chemo-day across town at 7:00. And I’ll tell you what, ever since Val coughed up those tumor bits I’ve got a whole new attitude about chemo. Chemo is the bee’s knees. Chemo scorches the tumors Continue Reading
Tumult and Joy
I don’t understand this life right now. This morning I am walking and walking at 1000 acres with Cynthia and the dog. And then we get lost. Every trail is a riverbed and every culdesac is a homeless person’s tent. The beautiful cottonwoods are telegraphs from my youth in Montana. Continue Reading
Hairball #3
Val called me at work this morning to say she coughed up another piece of her tumor! Or anyway, she coughed up something unusual, of a slightly different texture than last time, about the size of a smallish pea. It’s now awaiting biopsy in a little jar filled with homemade Continue Reading
urban fortune cookies
I was driving to work this morning in the cold and gray, cursing Portland’s quotation marks around “summer” and trying to breathe through the thumps of anxiety in my chest. Everything felt desperate and impossible. Felt like I’d never again be able to animate the muscles of my face. I Continue Reading
Trying to play “Cluck o Hen” for some scaredy chickens
Please come back Chickens- this song is for you!
Off the Hammock
So on the 28th they are going to put me back into a tube. Scan my chest. Create another picture like the one that started all this. And the doctors will marvel at the 3 dimensional detail of it all. They like to go slice by millimeter slice. (I really Continue Reading
Harboring Felons
I wake up in the middle of the night to pee. there is a moment before awareness that feels like falling. here safe warm in this bed. i know something. but i don’t know what yet. i am a body. and then the knowledge shakes loose and flows down its Continue Reading