Dear ones, How shall we talk about this? What do I say? Everything changes so quickly and at once so slowly, dreamlike. We are still here, but we are inexorably changing. For so long I have known none of us would get out of this alive. And I knew in Continue Reading
lung cancer
maybe radiation
My friends, Val’s breathing is shallow and labored these days, and we can see it worsening weekly. To sleep, she props herself with pillows into a half-sitting position, but violent coughing episodes jerk her awake for an hour or two most nights, leaving her even more exhausted. Two and three and Continue Reading
oxygen obstacles
Dears, The oxygen people delivered the wrong kind of oxygen: large home canisters instead of a portable oxygen concentrator. This meant Val couldn’t take them on the airplane this morning. However, since the airline people saw she was using oxygen, they also wouldn’t let her on without it. Calls to the on-call Continue Reading
latest CT results
Hi everyone, Val has been on Gemzar for about 8 weeks, so she had a CT scan Sunday and we met with the oncologist yesterday. The scan showed what the doctor called “mixed results”: in the lungs, some existing cancer nodes stayed stable, and some were smaller. This is way Continue Reading
Thanksgiving times two
Fantastic scan news! Everything’s still stable or shrinking! First thing this morning we took a deep breath and met with the doctor for the results of Monday’s scan. These last several months it’s been hard, especially for Val, to shake the uneasiness as we waited to see if the tiny Continue Reading
(clinical) trials and tribulations
A week ago I came in from taking out the compost to find a message on the answering machine from Dr. T., the oncologist: “I’ve got some new information about the clinical trial you’re on; give me a call this morning so I can fill you in.”
one year
Friends, It was one year ago today that an X-ray revealed the mass in Valerie’s lung. She hiked up Silver Star Peak this weekend. Two weeks ago she biked to the coast, 55 miles in one day. This morning she made friends with Odell, the woman next to her in Continue Reading
preliminary results
Fantastic: The PET scan showed no new hot spots. Cancer is NOT rekindling. Disappointing: The two remaining, shrunken tumors are not yet dead. In a preliminary report, the PET scan technician (or whoever phones over the preliminary info) says the scan shows “residual disease” in two already-known spots, which we Continue Reading
indecision and hilarity
i read the obituaries every day. i have for years. i try to take note of all the people disappearing. snatched out of place. this place where we live. this valley of land near the criss-crossing rivers, watched over by a sharp volcano. buildings, boats and freeway exchanges keep us Continue Reading
choosing the questions to ask
Hello dear folk, Val’s feeling fairly well today, although the usual post-chemo stuff is starting up. Her digestion’s a bit wacked out; the steroids make her face reddish and puffy and wake her up early; that sort of thing. She notes that each chemo cycle it seems that the effects Continue Reading