Yeah. So here’s the thing. i know, again with “the thing,” but i have cancer so you have to listen to me as if i had a seat on buddha’s straight talk express. anyhow, the thing is- regaining consciousness does a not-so-suble reset of the presumption system. somehow i thought Continue Reading
cowgalval
Last Chemo (for the time being)
The time being. now that’s an interesting phrase. poetic. all sorts of juicy implications.this being the time now time. this pool of time you see before you? it is yours. dive in. everything else is unknown. off the edge. i must tell you i am feeling better. it all started Continue Reading
cry then eat soup
The effects of the last chemo have lingered, but i don’t think i have cold. Just a runny nose (a common chemo side effect) and a bit of a sore throat. My carbon footprint has increased greatly just from my use of tissues. I ate bunches of herbs prescribed by Continue Reading
blood and love
First, I would like to apologize for my lack of communication in the last couple weeks. I am experimenting with new ways of being in the world and it turns out to be very time consuming. Plus, I had company. Also, I have been eating beef which takes a great Continue Reading
Purple Haze
The latest round of chemo has rendered me uncarbonated. Hardly any pain at all, just not a lot of gumption. I would not say i feel effervescent at this stage. It’s a little like having small people dangling off your arms and knees who mildly complain of all the movement. Continue Reading
Rabbit Hole
So this morning I’m off to chemo. I hope. There is some issue with my neutrophils. My bone marrow is not producing enough so they are going to give me a drug that will induce my bone marrow to give up the goods. It is called neupogen and it has Continue Reading
I will not offer cancer a biscuit
i will not offer the cancer a biscuit. i will not pull out a chair. i cannot spare a blanket. my body will keep cancer awake all night. i will play loud music. my heart will take against cancer and leave every time it tries to talk. i will dance Continue Reading
Curiosity saves lives: an invitation
It has been a very peculiar week. A week that changes things. There are moments when i am feeling that old work ethic tug to sit down and really sort through it all. Try to understand the implications of each event in succession. But the truth is, i just don’t Continue Reading
Tumult and Joy
I don’t understand this life right now. This morning I am walking and walking at 1000 acres with Cynthia and the dog. And then we get lost. Every trail is a riverbed and every culdesac is a homeless person’s tent. The beautiful cottonwoods are telegraphs from my youth in Montana. Continue Reading
Off the Hammock
So on the 28th they are going to put me back into a tube. Scan my chest. Create another picture like the one that started all this. And the doctors will marvel at the 3 dimensional detail of it all. They like to go slice by millimeter slice. (I really Continue Reading